Thursday, May 2, 2013

Two Months of Bed Rest


At any other point in my life if you were to tell me to go lay on the couch all day and watch TV, I would probably be okay with that, maybe even relieved to have a nice break. But today, I just want to get up and move.  In just a couple days I will reach the two month point of being on bed rest and I just can't wait for it all to be over.  I have come across such a wide range of emotions and feelings but one of the most difficult battles has been a physical one.
Before I went on bed rest I was trying to stay in shape. Gaining weight is a perfectly normal part of pregnancy, but I was trying to do my best to keep it under control.  I was going to the gym 2-3 times per week and spending my days chasing after an active toddler. I wasn't any sort of great athlete but I was trying to take care of myself.  In general, I felt pretty good. Tired, but good.
Today is a different story. My body still feels tired, but no longer in a good way.  I've gained 40lbs since the start of my pregnancy and I can feel it.  I know a good portion of the aches and pains come from being pregnant, but I can tell that it is more than just that.
I don't feel healthy, I feel like I have lost all the muscle that I was working so hard to gain.  My legs feel sluggish and weak and they get tired when I walk into the doctor's office from the parking garage on appointment days. I don't think I have any bit of stamina or endurance left and, frankly, that makes me nervous for childbirth and keeping up with a newborn and a toddler when the time comes.
My energy level has also taken a huge hit. I just feel tired all day long.  I've been avoiding napping during the day so that I can still sleep at night. When I first started bed rest I was actually suffering from insomnia because my body wasn't used to lying down all day. Lately, however, I just want to sleep all day long. My body doesn't want to wake up in the morning and I feel like I can just fall asleep at any moment.
My one saving grace has been my diet.  Tom has been a fabulous cook, and makes sure that there are always plenty of fruits and vegetables in the house. This has helped me hold onto the one bit of health that I have and it helps me to know that I've been giving the baby the nourishment that he needs. I won't lie and say that I haven't enjoyed a nice bowl of ice cream or two, but hey, you can't deny a pregnant woman everything.
One thing I have learned from all this is how much I truly want to be healthy.  In life, many people become unhealthy over time and don't realize that it is happening. Over the course of years many people slowly let it go. I feel like I gave it up in the a much shorter time frame. I want to remember this unhealthy, sluggish, and tired feeling so that I don't ever voluntarily enter it.
As a mom, I want to set a good example for my family and I need to take care of myself so that I can take care of them. I know I am doing what is best for my family right now, because I am holding my baby in and we have made it so much longer than people really thought I would when I was first put on bed rest. However, once this is over, and I get through the craziness of having a newborn, I am going to commit to taking care of myself and gaining back the strength I have lost.